the darkerside to rants

[Currently listening to: Lateralus from the album "Lateralus" by Tool]

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
Red & yellow then came to be, reaching out to me,
Lets me see.
As below, so above & beyond, I imagine.
Drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities & I must
feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me,
lets me see there is so much more &
beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, i imagine.
Drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind.
Feed my will to feel this moment, urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to,
I embrace my desire to,
Feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside & weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty,
to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral,
to swing on the spiral,
to swing on the spiral of our divinity & still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground i move myself between the sounds & open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I’m reaching up & reaching out.
I’m reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
What ever will bewilder me.
And following our will & wind we may just go where no one’s been.
We’ll ride the spiral to the end & may just go where no one’s been.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.

[Currently listening to: Pay Me My Money Down from the album "We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions" by Bruce Springsteen]

Somewhat fitting:

Bruce Springsteen Pay Me My Money Down

Pay me, you owe me
Pay me my money down
Pay me or go to jail
Pay me my money down

I thought I heard the captain say
Pay me my money down
Tomorrow is our sailing day
Pay me my money down

Pay me, you owe me
Pay me my money down
Pay me or go to jail
Pay me my money down

Late last night we went into a bar
Pay me money down
They knocked us down with the end of a spar
Pay me my money down

Pay me, you owe me
Pay me my money down
Pay me or go to jail
Pay me my money down

I wish I was Mr. Howard’s son
Pay me my money down
Sit in the house and watch the work getting down
Pay me my money down

Windy outside…. Really windy, since yesterday actually.

It sort of itches me to go out running, getting away from this empty place called “home”. But running in those gusts is not always fun….. Oh what to do…. Life’s harsh.

[Currently listening to: Aganjù (Spiritual South Sub Rub) from the album "Seleçao Do Brasil Vol 2 Electronic" by Bebel Gilberto]

I can somehow start to understand (in a curious kinda intellectual way) why people do drugs. They change your perception of the world. They not necessarily make it better, but different. And as we tend to get easily bored, for a lot of people this is welcome remedy.

Take alcohol, it must be the most (ab)used drug on the face of the planet. I personally never liked the effects, though I am by far not a mean drunk. The numbers of times I have been drunk I can count on two hands (and hey, I am 31), and in every instance I either got sleepy or (more likely) philosophical, it stripped some of my reason away and made me more mellow, but still. Not my favourite thing.

I never smoked, did Hash or any other drug, so I can’t attest to their effects on me, though I have seen people high etc.

My personal experience is this little hormone called Testosterone, I don’t have it myself, so I have to rely on getting it into the system externally, which means ramming a needle into myself and pushing down on a plunger. Works great, and this morning once again I saw how much it changes perception, it’s a simple molecule really, but the effect it has on my mind and body are undeniable.

I was due for my new injection this morning, and after two hours the effects were felt. Just plain amazing, how a little chemical imbalance can mess with our minds.

[Currently listening to: Prism (Sun Orchestra remix) from the album "Seleçao Do Brasil Vol 2 Electronic" by Château Flight]

Starbucks tends to get creative by having different drinks at different times of the year.

As we are somehow approaching summer again (how did that happen?) we find the green tea making a comeback with Starbucks, and this time it is in the latte and….. Okay. Althought it has a vomit reminding green “creamy” colour to it.

It tastes heavier than the normal Starbucks latte, but not badly so. The green tea adds a bit of a tardiness to the overall taste pallette, but not in a bad way. If I have to complain about one thing it is the sweetness. Personally I think they would have done better by not having sugar in the green tea and rather let the bitterness (and maybe slight spinach taste) come out, but as they try to be mass compatible they rather add this to please the sweet tooth.

The scary thing was that I saw that people still add even more sugar to their drinks. Ugh.

Rating: 3/5

Earlier today the nice man from Shaw came by and hooked up my phone. This is the first time I have a landline in six years. Unlike my last one though this is not a POTS but VOIP based system. Works over my cable hookup.

The cool thing about it? I pay $55/month and for this I get unlimited calling in the US and Canada and a 1000 minutes to most of Europe and some other countries. Can’t beat that.

This “little” box is that makes it all possible. How far we have come. The really great thing about it is that voice quality is excellent, even when hammering the Cable Modem connection with Torrents

[Currently listening to: Upa, Neguinho from the album "Blue Brazil: Blue Note In A Latin Groove" by Luiz Arruda Paez]
And now iDVD managed to piss me off to. Worked all fine until it started encoding the Audio –> Crash.

Damn, not my day.

Somehow iMovie is pissing me off. I tried to send a project to iDVD and it just hangs iMovie <sigh>

On the plus side I was able to build it by manually loading the iMovie project into iDVD, but still….

Quad shot of Espresso… I am buzzing, something I really need considering the amount of stress I have recently.

That’ll be a quicky. I finished this book on the weekend with mixed feelings.

First of all the title is really stupid, which takes a bit away from the book. The next thing is that the cover hails the author, Linda McQuaig, as “Canada’s Michael Moore”. Nothing against Michael Moore, he’s entertaining, but I don’t think it serves the book well. The association is even worse due to Moore’s “Dude, where’s my country” book from a few years back.

The book itself is rather well written, with a lot of footnotes and references, which clearly differentiates it from Michael Moore’s writing. It brings up interesting points, but it unfortunately doesn’t go far enough at times. It is entertainingly written and an easy read and clearly a good primer, but at times it doesn’t explore it’s ideas to the full extend it could have (and in my opinion should have).

Rating 3.5/5.